I spent my career in a technical specialist field, much of it at major financial firms and hedge funds. I was often the only woman in the room.
Over the years, I was worn down by a thousand small paper cuts. I was the butt of jokes, cut off from colleagues, paid less than peers, given less visible work, blamed when things went wrong, and overlooked when they went right, with credit going to whichever man was nearest. The men around me rarely stood up for me, and some actively took credit for my ideas.
Even when my work was valued and widely used, opportunities kept going to people with less experience, and I was often kept at arm’s length from colleagues who could have helped me progress. It made me laugh when these firms rolled out a corporate video on International Women’s Day celebrating female colleagues – literally the opposite of what happens in these firms. Eventually I left finance because my health was suffering.
After I left, I heard from a couple of people that ex-colleagues were spreading rumours about me, and that my reputation was being quietly undermined behind the scenes. I can’t prove it, and that’s part of what makes it so hard to fight. How do you defend yourself against things you can’t see?