Story 184
2/2
This is the second story I am submitting. The first one related to a senior executive at Citi who told his assistant to tell me his budget was not approved after I would not perform a sexual act, while he propositioned me as we were working on a board deck. He still holds an executive level position but at another bank.
The second challenge I had was with another MD at another top tier bank who continuously harassed women. He would gaslight, withhold information from women, and then harass them on calls and talk down to them in executive briefings. I left because the abuse was too much.
Before I left, I turned over the work to another colleague who had transferred into the role. She was more bold and left after a few weeks. She later called me and said I was complicit in allowing his abuse to continue, and that I should have told her. Instead, I left and absorbed the impact. I eventually filed an anonymous complaint, but it seems that man still holds his Managing Director position.
I also had a female Managing Director at Citi tell me to wear a wedding ring so I would be perceived as more credible.
In another instance at Citi, a MD told me he was in love with me. I ignored it and left the dinner after the bill arrived. He did not retaliate, and it was never discussed again, but the relationship was strained. I avoided him at all costs after that. This man still a MD.
I now have a personal rule: no dinners alone and no drinks ever with male colleagues, only breakfast or lunch. No friendly talk. And mention a phantom husband although I am single. It is a small adjustment, but one that reflects the reality many women navigate in environments where boundaries are not always respected.
In all cases, these executives are still gainfully employed in senior leadership positions. Meanwhile, I stayed silent for years and have had to explain the gaps in my resume.
I never spoke up about any of these situations. I was always scared. Thank you for creating this website and for making space for voices like mine.